lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
