i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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