My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
