Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
