You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
