How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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