Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize