I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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