DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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