theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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