Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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