I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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