i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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