I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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