That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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