it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
