I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
