why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
