just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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