Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize