It's like a parade of train wrecks.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
