I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
