I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's always time for handjobs
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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