I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
