oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
