your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
