we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh god it's open bar.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
