I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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