You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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