I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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