Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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