I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize