I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
