yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
