Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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