I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
COCAINE IS GR8
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
