I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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