I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
