You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
