finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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