this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
