We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
