Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
