Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
