I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize