This is not my ceiling
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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