it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize