her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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