hotel room ftw
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
