Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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