How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
