Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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