Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
