talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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