you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
