Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
