What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just had sex bonerless
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize