I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
