reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
