I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
