so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
