I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
