who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize