butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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