it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
