Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
