whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize