Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
