Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
