dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
