I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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