Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize